Restoring happiness

Something I tend to forget when I hit a wall is to stop pushing myself so hard up against it.
Frustrations about not being able to move right away, not really enjoying my part time job, and a family disagreement have left me feeling blah for the last few weeks. Tasks I normally sail through are tripping me up, my anxiety is rising and good sleep has been hard to come by. After a period of reacting to this slump by slogging through it and chastising myself for not getting more done, I finally returned to the response that always works best for me: The Happiness Technique – Easy, stressfree, uncomplicated ways to make myself feel good right now.
So, yesterday I played hooky and invited a dear friend to join me on an excursion. Driving through the sparkling autumn landscape, stopping to looking at antiques and art, enjoying carrot ginger soup in a delightful cafe in a new town was a feast for my senses and spirit. Having done just a few of my favorite things yesterday, I feel happier (and more open to possibilities and solutions) than I have in weeks!
What are some small actions you can take to restore your happiness when you’re feeling down or stuck? Make a list of these when you’re on a roll, because when you come to a screeching halt your blocked energy can make it hard to forget your troubles and just get happy. At the first sign of the doldrums, consult your list to remember your own unique life brighteners ….”Oh, that’s right, playing videogames with my daughter is a blast, or I do love crunching through the leaves, or laughing at Seinfeld reruns is so much fun.”
Then choose one of these things and do it, and when you’re ready, another, remembering that you deserve to feel happy!

With love,
Mary Lou

Asking for what you want

Yesterday I did some inpromptu coaching with a friend to help her gain courage to
write a profile and post it on an online dating service. Her experience in the past had been discouraging. “I always seem to end up with the dependent guys who
want a woman to cook and be all domestic for them.” Well to be honest, my friend does put out this vibe and her profiles have reflected it – she loves to cook and create a cozy home, and she enjoys making people feel comfortable. I suggested it might work better for her to ask for someone who enjoys these kinds of activities too, to avoid someone mistaking them for a service she provides. (Since this role assumption can still be an issue for people in our 50 something age bracket.)
Though women may still enjoy certain domestic arts and nurturing others, many of us have learned that we don’t want to take care of grown men… But we know we could have a great time playing house together. So why not ask for just that?

With love,
Mary Lou