Appreciative Energy

Feeling low yesterday after making a decision to postpone a long anticipated move,
I answered the door for a delivery of a book I ordered awhile back from Amazon.com.
Called Focus on the Good Stuff: The Power of Appreciation – by Mike Robbins – it was just what I needed to begin to shifting attention from what I wanted that I wasn’t (yet) getting
to the many wonderful things available right here and now. This is a delightful book about the transformative effects of gratitude and appreciation – including lots of easy exercises to help you raise your appreciative energy level immediately.

So, I straightaway made a list of things to be grateful for about staying in Roanoke for the time being.

It’s a relief not to have to clean and show the house – sometimes at a moment’s notice
I can stop worrying about the vagaries of the housing market
My son can get the job he say he’s been wanting (if he ever gets around to it!)
I can continue my internet dating search, which I had been postponing until after our move
I can finish up my coaching classes/ certification in the next few months without the stress of a relocation weighing me down.
I can have a carefree holiday season

It seems that if you let it, life is always pulling you into it, embracing you, moving you forward:

On Sunday afternoon after making the the decision to take the house off the market, I joined Match.com on a friends recommendation. Last night I received the warmest e-mail from a man (my age, lives nearby) who shares my love of nature and adventure.
It’s good to (always) keep the door open, at least a crack.

With love,
Mary Lou

Life’s little detours

Life sure is unpredictable. Or I should say, teenagers are. Yesterday my sister and I decided to take our homes off the market until after the beginning of the year, and postpone our move to Virginia Beach. Housing sales are slow in the fall, and with the overall slump in the market, offers have been coming in quite low. Yesterday I told my son (who has been vigorously resisting this move for the last several months, insisting he had to stay close to his friends). His face fell — said he was disappointed and really wanted the house to sell and “to get out of this small town!”
It’s hard to know what’s true with teens because they tend to say black when you say white, but I’m feeling pretty disappointed at the moment that he may actually, finally, be on the same page as we are, and we can’t move forward yet on our plans.
Sigh….
Today I’ll be considering what I can learn from this, and (perhaps) what the “grander” scheme being served by this turn of events could possibly be, but at the moment I’m feeling a little stuck.
Hopefully a more empowering perspective tomorrow!

With love,
Mary Lou

A Sea Change

As soon as our homes sell, my father, sister and I will be moving across the state to Virginia Beach with my teenage son and setting up house together. This is an exciting move, tempered by the fact that my 16 year old not happy to be leaving his friends and familiar surroundings. The last 2 years have been rocky for him – losing interest in school, using marijuana and remaining stuck at a 13 year old level. So maybe a change will do him good? Maybe it’s time for him to take some steps out of his cocoon? It’s hard to know the “right” answer, and as a mom who has become quite proficient at addressing the needs of my children first and foremost, not knowing has caused some sharp anxieties to interfere with my enthusiasm.

But here’s where remembering what I DO know comes into play, reassuring me and giving me courage:

My heart tells me this move is right for me… Though strained at times, my son and I have a deep bond…. I have the skills and resources to respond to whatever challenges come up… My son is stronger than (even he) knows…

Sometimes when we climb out on a limb it helps to remember that deep roots have been growing over a lifetime to support the branches beneath us.

With love,
Mary Lou

Celebrate playing the game

Last week I was talking to the man who just began taking care of my yard. He is also a coach for an adolescent girls basketball team, a group that had recently made it to out-of-town playoffs. After a particularly tough loss, he told the girls how great they had played and how proud he was.
Unconsoled, they asked what they were going to do next. He said “We’re going to get back on the court and practice as hard as we can.” When they replied “Really?” he said,
“Yes, but that can wait. First, we’re going out for ice cream!” When a few parents asked how they were going to celebrate winning if he was treating them with ice cream after a loss, he said, ” we’ll just have even more ice cream…”
It seemed clear after only a few minutes with this wise man that he was coaching these girls for life long fulfillment, not just for winning basketball games.
Celebrating playing the game, hanging in there, doing the best you can, (and not just your peak successes) makes the game of life so much sweeter!

With love,
Mary Lou