Last week I wrote about reframing how I’ve been thinking about my teen’s “acting out” behavior. As I try to maintain an open mind about his choices, I received the valuable reminder from a counselor that the functioning of his teen brain won’t much resemble the functioning of my adult brain until he’s well into his 20s… So, in truth, there isn’t alot that I believe, do, or say that really makes much sense to him right now.
How can communications gaps like this be bridged, so we can get closer to those we care about or, for that matter, anyone we share space with for a time? A few things come to mind….
1) Take the first step
2) Listen to what the other person says and observe what they do.
3) Learn their “language.” Ask questions. How do they go about making decisions? What are their likes and dislikes? Their values and priorities?
4) Use their language, not yours, as the basis of your communication with them.
5) Help them to understand how things may look different from your perspective.
6) Fill in persistent gaps with universal languages such as music, nature, art, love.
Hope you have a wonderful week…
Mary Lou
